Motherhood is often portrayed through its most beautiful moments: a baby’s first smile, tiny hands wrapped around a finger, bedtime cuddles and milestones that become cherished memories. Yet, behind these picture-perfect moments lies an emotional journey that can be far more complicated. It can be joyful and exhausting, fulfilling and overwhelming, sometimes all within the same day.
Sonal Katyal believes that this complexity deserves a more honest conversation.
Rather than viewing motherhood as a predictable journey, she sees it as a roller coaster filled with unexpected highs, sudden lows and moments when women are simply trying to understand what comes next. The experience is deeply personal, and there is no single emotional template that every mother is expected to follow.
For many women, becoming a mother represents a significant shift in identity. Priorities change, routines are disrupted and responsibilities multiply. The woman who once had control over her schedule may suddenly find her day dictated by feeding, sleeping patterns, school schedules, doctor’s appointments and countless other demands.
Amid this transition, there can also be an invisible pressure to be a “perfect mother.”
The expectation can come from family, society, social media and even from mothers themselves. There is an endless stream of advice about parenting, nutrition, education, discipline and child development. While information can be helpful, too much of it can sometimes leave mothers questioning whether they are doing enough.
Katyal’s perspective brings the conversation back to something much simpler: motherhood is not about getting everything right all the time.
Some days are filled with laughter and connection. Other days can feel chaotic and exhausting. There may be moments when a mother feels completely confident about her choices, followed by moments of self-doubt. Experiencing both does not make her inconsistent. It makes her human.
The rise of social media has added another layer to this experience. Parenting content can create a sense that everyone else has figured it out. Carefully curated photographs, organised homes, happy children and seemingly effortless routines can make ordinary struggles feel like personal shortcomings.
But real motherhood happens away from the camera.
It happens during sleepless nights, rushed breakfasts, unfinished cups of tea and moments when a mother needs five quiet minutes to herself. It happens when plans change unexpectedly and when patience runs thin. It also happens in the small moments that may never make it to social media: a child’s laugh, an unexpected hug or the feeling of being needed by someone completely.
For Katyal, acknowledging these realities is not about portraying motherhood negatively. Instead, it is about creating a more balanced and compassionate understanding of the experience.
One of the most important aspects of that conversation is allowing mothers to ask for support without feeling guilty. Taking a break does not diminish a mother’s love for her child. Seeking help does not mean she is incapable. Admitting that a particular day has been difficult does not make her a bad parent.
Motherhood is constantly evolving. Just when one stage begins to feel familiar, another brings a new set of challenges and emotions.
Perhaps that is why the roller-coaster analogy resonates so strongly. There is no permanent destination where everything suddenly becomes easy. There are new turns, unexpected drops and exhilarating highs at every stage.
The goal, therefore, may not be to control every moment of the ride, but to accept its unpredictability.
For Katyal, a more honest conversation around motherhood can help women understand that they do not have to hide their difficult days to prove that they love their children.
Motherhood can be exhausting, transformative, messy, beautiful and deeply rewarding.
And sometimes, it can be all of these things at once.
